"THE SIMILARITIES OF MARRIAGE PROCEDURES IN JAVANESE AND BUGINESE"

Marriage is one of the most important ceremony in entire of life. Every culture in the world especially in Indonesia has difference procedures of marriage ceremony, Javanese and Buginese for example. Marriage process in Javanese is more complex of its rituals than the other culture in Indonesia and Marriage process in Buginese is one of the most expensive in Indonesia. However, a comparison of marriage procedures between Javanese and Buginese reveals that both of them have a great number of the similarities.
The marriage procedures of Buginese and Javanese are similarity in the complex of offering proposal process. There are so many steps before lamaran (the proposal) in the Buginese and Javanese are accepted. The proposal in Buginese is started from Mammanu'-manu or the first visit of the groom's family to know more about the bride, Mappesse'-pesse' is the second visit before offering a proposal, Madduta is the process of offering a proposal where both of family will negotiate about dui' menre' (dawry), and the last step is Mapettu' ada where the bride and groom's family have found an agreement about dui' menre' and the wedding day. The complex of offering a proposal in Buginese is not so different with the offering proposal process in Javanese which is started from babat (the first visit to introduce each other), nontoni (the second meet to ask some obscure questions to the bride and her family about their willing if the groom offering a proposal), nglamar (offering a proposal), and asok tukon (an agreement) which spends a lot of time to get an agreement. During the proposal process, both of Buginese and Javanese really emphasize to the aspect of politeness and high prestige. For instance, several Buginese parents assume that marrying their daughters is one of media to show their social class and financial status therefore their parents will ask high dawry even can be up to hundred millions Rupiah while for almost Javanese parents have high requirements to their son or daughter-in-law, they are from bibit (their offspring history), bebet (their behaviour), and bobot (their financial and their caste in society).
Second, both of these cultures have similar activities in a day or couple days before wedding ceremony. There is a similarity between ritual in Javanese and Buginese for their bride before her wedding day. For example, In Java, siraman is one of important part where the parents and elderly of the bride will be bathing the bride and the groom with flowers and water, aiming of this process is to make them will be pure approaching their wedding day. This process is same with cemme mappepaccing in Buginese ritual. Moreover, separating between the bride and groom is one of the similarity in marriage procedures between Javanese and Buginese, the evening before the ceremony the couple is separated for the goal secluding the bride and give her some advices and also wishing her well to become a good wife.
Furthermore, there is a similarity between Javanese and Buginese to sense the meaning of the wedding ceremony. In this case, there is no question about the value of marriage for Javanese and Buginese, both of them assume that a marriage is a holy ceremony because every ritual has a certain meaning and really sacred. One of the most sacred process in marriage is 'ijab qabul process (consent granted), this process for Javanese and Buginese have been influenced or acculturated with their religion. Therefore, we can find two versions of consent granted, the first is religion version especially Islamic version where the process traditionally held in mosque or KUA (The Religion Department Office) and combining of religion and traditional version where the bride and groom wear traditional clothes and the bride is allowed to absent at this process. Besides, there are similar symbols of marriage for both of these cultures to express how precious the marriage ceremony. For example, seserahan or pappendre' in buginese is one of the process before akad nikah (marriage contract). It's a symbolic of the groom as his responsible to the bride's family especially for her parents. Another similarity of marriage symbol is ring where has a meaning for unifying both of two families. In addition, the bride and groom's family agreed that the bride has a higher value and responsible to hold the wedding day ceremony therefore the marriage process traditionally held in the bride's residence.
The another similarity of marriage procedures in Javanese and Buginese is in the point of how important of the post marriage contract activities. Both of these cultures have same opinion with the statement which says the marriage ceremony will not complete without several activities after 'ijab qabul. For instance, in Javanese, the activities start from Upacara Panggih (Panggih ritual), Balangan Suruh, Wiji Dadi Ritual, Tampa Kaya, Dhahar Klimah, Mertui and they are closed by Sungkeman, while in Buginese, the activities start from Mappasikarawa, Massio', Marola, and Makkasiwiang. After series of traditional activities, the activity that traditionally become a media to share happiness and needs big expence which is always waited for the other people is the reception, where it's held with all of the bride and groom's big family and also all of the invitated guests. In here, there are two types of the reception. The first type is traditional version where the bride and groom wear traditional clothes and the second is western version which gown and tux are weared as their reception clothes. Although, these several activities don't have to be being but both of Javanese and Buginese agreed that the marriage procedures will not complete without them.
It is clear that marriage procedures in Indonesia especially for Javanese and Buginese have large number of similarities. The same of view about marriage is the root and a keyword of these similarities. Therefore, there is no reason for all of the statement that say the one culture is better than the another one because every marriage procedure in Buginese and Javanese have the same purpose to approaching ourselves to the God and keep the forefathers value.